[eluser]obiron2[/eluser]
the $_POST array will only contain selected items so you have three choices.
1) you should know (or be able to calculate) the values shown in the selection list, so by definition, you know that the ones not returned in the $_POST were not selected.
2) add hidden fields to the form, one for each element in the selection list and use a javascript event onClick() to change the value of the hidden element.
3) a combination of the two. Create hidden elements for each of the selections available and that will be returned as part of the $_POST array. Intersect that with the selected values and you will be left with the unselected values.
the first is probably the easiest to code as a one off, but the last one would provide a generic pattern that could be used across multiple forms; The array you use to build the selection list is also used to build the hidden form elements.
obiron