Writing your own 'terms and conditions' or 'privacy policy', if you're not a lawyer? (Possibly O/T)

[eluser]t'mo[/eluser]
Has anyone here ever written their own "terms and conditions" or "privacy policy" for sites you've created? If so, what topics did you include or exclude? How much did you use legalese vs. your native tongue? How did you go about writing the document(s)?

By comparison, has anyone dealt with lawyers for these types of documents? What's a reasonable fee for this sort of legal work? How long does it take? What kind of agreement did you have with the lawyer, especially in terms of enforcement of the legal terms and/or updating the documents?

Finally, if anyone has experience with both approaches, I'd appreciate hearing about it.

/me preps for many IANAL-like responses