[eluser]OverZealous[/eluser] @ben_co
Hopefully I didn't drive you off, but I wanted to let you know that I added the update method to the very-soon-to-be-released DMZ 1.5.0. This method, I think, is going to be very useful for a lot of people. I do appreciate the feedback you provided in thinking it through.
I still can't safely enable bulk deletes, because there is no way to delete the relationship information simultaneously. Since there is no reason someone can't still use the CI ActiveRecord methods, I think this is a fair compromise. If you are OK with the risk of DB corruption, then you can run it manually.
This update also includes the ability to run validation-like rules after a get, fixes many bugs, and several other new features that have been asked for.
I've made some changes that have repercussions (such as renaming several of the included extensions), so I had to bump the version by 0.1, instead of 0.0.1.