[eluser]jedd[/eluser]
You're very funny.
Try extending the base controller, and putting your arrays and function(s) into there.
This is described in [url="http://ellislab.com/codeigniter/user-guide/general/core_classes.html"]the CI User Guide[/url]
I see that [url="http://ellislab.com/forums/viewthread/127479/"]pistolPete also answered much the same question from you three days ago[/url].